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Another problem was that my family resisted when i suggested that i marry in my early 20s.
Thus, the absence of a halal outlet for this desire is another factor that has brought me to where i am now. Imam Anwar al-Awlaqi mentions it in one of his CD sets.
It was like i’d crossed a threshold, stepped over an important line.
And unfortunately, having crossed that line, i haven’t looked back and have used the card numerous times since. You promise yourself for a long time that you won’t cross a certain line, but then you do, and it becomes easy to repeat that sin again.
During these years in which i have sinned I have also memorized 10 juz of the Qur’an: that didn’t come easily, nor without determination, and i would bet that is more than most people who are reading this. The most helpful solution overall i found was going cold turkey with the internet: cutting it off completely.