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Rather than letting him know right away, I sit on that and wait until he inevitably texts me again, which happens to be the very next night: Wait, what are you doing here dude? I also use the “still working excuse” to head off any requests to meet that night because it’s on a Wednesday and I’m at home watching “The Girls Tell All” episode of The Bachelor and you are not getting me off this couch for anything, especially for a fool who is trying to pull some weird mind game shit. It’s a shitty thing started by some shitty guys who call themselves ‘pick-up artists.’ More scientifically, negging is a rhetorical strategy whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise insulting remark to another person in order to undermine his or her confidence in a way that gains approval.)So I screenshot the conversation from just one day ago and send it to him and laugh for a second about how sending a picture of a text message in a text message is ridiculous. They also sometimes work on me and I know this, so I try to avoid them at all cost. Continuing to be a jerk to a woman with a blog and balls bigger than yours. He’s made some appointments for me at Jenny Craig and set up a profile for me on Positive (a dating site for those with STDs).
And then things go downhill very quickly: One of my guys from Settl? This is when it becomes very clear to me he is trying to neg me. I did not respond back to Jasonthecoolest, so I suppose this entire post could be considered my response. He has also tried very hard (though unsuccessfully) to hack into my Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Gmail, AT&T, Linked In, OK Cupid, Seeking Arrangement and Miss Travel accounts.
(This should have been red flag #1 - if a seemingly cool girl invites you to a free NFL/Symphony, thing grow a pair and go. It’s just a few hours of your life.)Days following our outing, which I thought was fun, I received news that my friend Marques had been killed and at that moment, all science stopped, for obvious reasons.
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I present to you a complete text message conversation spanning two days with, well, a jerk.
Let me set the scene: We matched on Tinder and it took me a good bit of messaging back and forth to convince him to come to a special SF Symphony performance involving the NFL for our first date.
This week the lovely man left for America, so in a frankly pitiful attempt to take my mind/heart/soul off of him I went back to Tinder, which kind of felt like taking a job in Sports Direct when you used to manage a football club.
So my first foray back in to dating and it lasts a total of 32 minutes and ends with the most alarming text message I’ve ever received.
We meet at the tube station after he declined my suggestion to meet at a pub, and he asks if we can go for a coffee as he’s not drinking. I put on eyeliner for this and now I’m in a Costa bloody Coffee.